The Hills are NOT alive with the Sound of Music

When in Salzburg, don’t ask the locals about Sound of Music, the Von Trapps and worse where did the shooting for the movie take place.  Most will look at you blankly, smile or shrug and walk off; some will look at you dazedly as if you were talking Martian. Some others will keep saying politely, sorry, sorry, and sorry till you feel sorry for yourself and walk away. For those of us who grew up on the movie, singing along every song, mouthing every dialogue and clutching the nearest hands or arm every time you feel that the escaping Von Trapp family might get caught, despite watching the movie zillion times, Salzburg where it is supposed to have happened is (tick whatever you like) ignorant/ indifferent/ least bothered/ amused/ irritated/upset/tickled etc 

The hills around are certainly not alive with the Sound of Music. It’s a chapter/episode/event long forgotten and buried. Yes there are a couple of professional Sound of Music tours including a bike ride but yes, it is completely tailored for goggle eyed, die-hard Sound of Music fans. Having just recently visited Freud Museum in Vienna, I began to wonder if there is something Freudian about refusing to let go the Sound of Music fantasy – the nun with the heart of gold, the handsome widower, the poor motherless kids, the Nazi reign, Maria and every child singing like Lata Mangeshkar and Kishore Kumar and ah! The family finally managing to escape the Nazis and running away to freedom! Freudian or nunnian?  If you studied in a convent school, especially in the hills of India, where the British hangover remained long after the British departed (and stopped mutilating Indian pronunciations among other alleged crimes), every treat or reward in school meant being asked to march in a line – that’s not how a young lady is supposed to walk, some nun would spit out if god forbid, your posture was not what it was supposed to be – to the auditorium where a noisy projector  would be ready to show us, what else, but Sound of Music. And The Greatest Story Ever Told and if we were lucky, Give a Dog a Bone. May be it is Goebbelian! It might seem cruel to even bring in a certain dictator and his propaganda minister here ( go say your Hail Mary’s), but it could be a case of- subject the girls to Sound of Music till it gets into their blood system and their mental system. Yeah, totally mental!

So where was I?  In the school auditorium? Nah, in Salzburg where Sound of Music is sigh, not remembered. In fact, if it is remembered, it is remembered the other way round – Maria apparently was not what Hollywood portrayed her as, she was cunning and knew which side the bread was buttered. (Give me Hindi movies any day, our heroines are saints even if they are size zero and excel at item numbers!) Aw forget it, let’s talk Salzburg. We drove in and hunted around for a parking spot. It was Sunday and everyone seemed to driving around. We finally found one and walked into the nearest park, the one adjoining a hospital to take a breather and there I went emotional over a statue of a mother and child, to me it simply said unconditional love. I might have continued mooning over the statue if two pesky little Chihuahuas hadn’t gone ballistic with their shrill barking for no rhyme or reason. The breed made famous or infamous by Paris Hilton, seem to love the sound of their barks. The other bigger dogs in the park gave the two the royal ignore. 

 

On way to Salzburg

We are there finally

 

The statue that got me emotional

The pesky chihuahuas

Salzburg like most European towns has it nooks and corners and its charming attractions, while small hillocks down. It clearly gets endless visitors because there is an orientation towards tourism.  There was one window display that had everything Indian including the ubiquitous elephant. Was tempted to do a Namaste and say Gajrajji phir aur kaha milenge? (Elephant sir, where will we meet next?)  No, that wasn’t the only thing Indian. A few yards away there were two guys, one with an Indian scarf tied on his head, busking with two didgeridoos, one sporting a brass Om. If that wasn’t enough they had spread out a sheet with a giant print of Shiva and typical Indian motifs. The crowd around seemed to love what they were doling out. 

 

Elephant tales

 

Shiva Shiva! 

If you like walking around, Salzburg is a great place to do so. We walk around; passing through narrow cobbled passages and quaint stores, inviting cafes and the interesting University Square (Universitätsplat) where at one corner is a giant painted chess board and some serious players inducing a bit of feeling of Alice in Wonderland.  Close by is the Kollegienkirche, built more than 500 years ago. From the outside, the Baroque church doesn’t look too imposing despite the four statues on its façade. You feel you have seen similar ones elsewhere, but walk inside and it’s another story. What I loved most about it was the soothing white walls and the extensive stucco works, which came together so beautifully.  Then there are the altars in the naves in the sides with bright paintings and elaborate details, standing out so brilliantly against the white walls. The show stopper however is the central altar, a complete masterpiece.

 

Kollegienkirche

Wherever we walk, a fortress on a hillock looks down on us. That’s Hohensalzburg fortress, dating back to 1077.  We are at Café Am Kai (Mullner Hauptstrasse 4, Salzburg 5020) on the banks of the Salzach River- I loved biting into the bright coloured cupcakes- when the pleasant female owner points to the fortress and asks us if we have visited it. Not yet, we say. You must she says and points out the direction. If I had known getting to the fortress meant riding the funicular cable railway, I would have hurried up. As we ride up the steep climb the view gets better and better and finally, all of Salzburg spreads out below.   The fortress sprawls over a huge area at different levels, there are narrow stairs going up, down and everywhere.  There is a huge courtyard, with a tree that seems to be dancing, and as you walk around you come across unexpected sights from pubs to a massive arched wood and iron door which bears an interesting sign – World of String Puppets (Welt Der Marionetten). Its shut and nobody seems to know what lies behind. Ok, I confess I start singing (or rather mumbling) The Lonely Goatherd number from, what else, Sound of Music. While the view from everywhere is awesome, the best ever is from Café Terrace.

Hohensalzburg Fortress

View from Terrace Cafe

 Incidentally close to Festungsgasse, from the cable railway starts, is St  Peter’s Cemetery, where in the movie the Von Trapps hid from the Nazis. But no the shooting was not done here, the scene was actually filmed in Hollywood. Bah!  The cemetery is said to date back to 700 AD.  

St Peter's Cemetery

And finally it is to Mirabell Palace and the gardens where bits of do-re-mi were filmed.  For all the expectations and the anticipation, for some reasons there was no connect at all . It was a flat feeling, of disappointment for whatever inexplicable reason.    The palace, the gardens, the giant statues, the dwarfs/ gnomes (they looked grotesque to me) held no appeal. In fact the trees in one side of the gardens looked almost ominous and very off-putting. I wouldn’t want to be there during the night. After annoyingly chirping Sound of Music all the way, I found no music, no joy. For the record the Mirabell palace was originally called the Altenau Palace and built in 1606 by Prince-Archbishop Wolf Dietrich von Raitenau for the love of his life, Salome Alt. It was renamed Mirabell by his successor Markus Sitticus von Hohenems.  The Marble Hall in the palace is apparently considered one of the most beautiful weddings halls in the world. It is beautiful indeed; but would I get married here? Hold that thought or perish it!